Self-leadership: what it is, why it matters, and why senior comms professionals need to take it seriously

When was the last time you thought about how you're leading yourself?

Not your team. Not your organisation. Not your stakeholders. You.

For many senior communications professionals I work with, that question draws a blank or an uncomfortable pause. Because we're trained to look outward. To support, advise, hold things together for other people. Turning that same intentionality inward can feel unfamiliar. Or indulgent. Or simply like one more thing that has to wait until the diary quietens down.

I've come to understand, through my own experience and through the work I do mentoring and supporting brilliant communications professionals, that self-leadership isn't optional. It's foundational. And for those of us operating at a senior level, neglecting it has consequences that ripple far beyond us.

So what actually is self-leadership?

There are a lot of definitions out there. But the one that resonates most with me, in the context of professional leadership, is this:

Self-leadership is all the things you already do to lead others well — applied to yourself.

The clarity you bring to your team's priorities? You need that for your own work too. The boundaries you encourage your team to hold? You need to model those first. The care you extend to the wellbeing of the people you lead? It has to start with you.

Think of it like the oxygen mask on a plane. You put yours on before helping anyone else, not because you're prioritising yourself over others, but because you cannot support anyone from a position of depletion. It's not selfishness. It's sustainability.

Self-leadership is also a constant work in progress. Your context shifts, your role evolves, the pressures you face change and your self-leadership practice has to shift with them. The goal isn't perfection. It's awareness, intentionality, and the willingness to keep checking in.

Why it matters so much for senior comms professionals

Self-leadership matters for all leaders. But I think it has particular significance for those of us in senior communications roles — and here's why.

We are, by the nature of our work, highly attuned to other people. We read rooms. We think about how messages land. We're often absorbing the emotional weight of an organisation — managing up, managing across, supporting our teams — while simultaneously being expected to communicate with clarity and confidence.

That is a lot to hold. And if we're not actively leading ourselves, not being intentional about our own energy, boundaries, and wellbeing, we will eventually reach a point where there's nothing left to give.

There's also the question of role modelling. How you show up as a leader sets the tone for everything around you. The culture you create, the standards you establish, the behaviours you inadvertently normalise, they all flow directly from how you lead yourself.

I've seen this play out so many times. The senior leader who fires off emails at 10pm without thinking about what that signals to their team. The head of comms who never takes a proper lunch break and wears it as a badge of honour, not realising they're communicating that rest isn't acceptable. The director who is always, visibly, impossibly busy and wonders why their team feels permanently overstretched and anxious.

Your self-leadership is not just about you. It shapes the culture that the people around you have to live in every day.

Can it be learned?

Yes but it takes honesty and a growth mindset.

Self-leadership isn't something you either have or you don't. It can absolutely be developed. But it requires the right conditions: genuine self-awareness, openness to feedback, and the willingness to sit with some uncomfortable truths about where you're currently falling short.

It also requires courage. Because often, the aspects of self-leadership that most need attention are also the ones that feel most exposing. The people-pleasing. The difficulty setting and holding boundaries. The tendency to say yes to everything, and wonder later why you feel so drained.

These are not personal failings. They're incredibly common among high-performing professionals who care deeply about their work. But they do need to be named and worked on, not quietly tolerated.

In my experience working with communications professionals, people rarely arrive saying 'I need to work on my self-leadership.' They come with a different presenting problem, they're not making the impact they want to make, their confidence has taken a knock, they feel stuck. And when we dig into it, self-leadership is almost always somewhere in the mix.

What self-leadership actually looks like in practice

This is where I want to get concrete, because self-leadership can feel like quite a grand term until you start to unpick what it means day to day.

I find it helpful to think about it in three areas and to check in with all three honestly and regularly.

Who you are. Your values, your style, what you stand for, what people can expect from you. This is the foundation. Without clarity here, everything else becomes harder to sustain.

How you're showing up. Are you operating in a way that's aligned with who you want to be as a leader? Are your boundaries clear and are you communicating them, or just holding them silently in your head and hoping people will somehow know? Are you spending time in the strategic space you should be, or getting pulled repeatedly into the operational weeds?

How you're looking after yourself. This is the part most senior professionals leave until last or skip entirely. What are your working hours, really? Are you taking proper breaks? Are you protecting your energy as the finite, precious resource it is?

These three things — who you are, how you're showing up, how you're caring for yourself — are worth returning to regularly. Not as a performance review, but as a genuine, honest check-in.

The hero mentality and why it isn't working

I want to say something directly, because I see this so often in the communications professionals I work with.

The 'hero mentality', being first in, last to leave, always available, never taking a real break, perpetually busy, is not a sign of strength or dedication. It's usually a sign that boundaries aren't in place and that self-leadership needs some attention.

And it's not just damaging to you. It sends a clear message to your team that this is what's expected. That rest is weakness. That unavailability is a failing. That your value is measured by how much you sacrifice for the job.

That is not the culture any of us actually wants to build.

The busyness piece is worth naming too. Constantly signalling how busy you are doesn't communicate importance, it can actually suggest you're not in control of your workload, that your priorities aren't clear, or that your boundaries aren't working. And it can be genuinely disrespectful to the people who need your time, your knowledge, and your presence.

You are allowed to be a leader who works sustainably. Who takes a lunch break. Who has buffer time in the diary. Who sets clear expectations about when they are and aren't available and holds true to them. That's not a lack of commitment. That's self-leadership in action.

Some practical places to start

If this is resonating and you're wondering where to begin, here are a few things I find genuinely useful — both in my own practice and in the work I do with the people I mentor.

Try the 'when I lead well' reflection. Finish this sentence: when I'm leading myself well, I do X, Y, Z. Then ask the counter question: when I'm being ineffective, I do X, Y, Z. The specificity that exercise produces can be really illuminating and it gives you something concrete to work with.

Seek honest feedback. Your perception of how you're showing up and other people's experience of it may not always match. Creating space for feedback from a trusted colleague, a mentor, or a coach helps close that gap.

Get practical about your diary. Buffer time, time blocking, protected focus sessions, these aren't indulgences. They're the basic infrastructure that allows you to lead well. Even small changes here can make a real difference to how you feel and how you perform.

Work on communicating your boundaries. It's one thing to know where your limits are. It's another to communicate them clearly and consistently to the people around you. Both matter and the communication piece is often where it falls apart.

Consider working with a mentor or coach. Not because something is wrong but because the right support helps you ask the questions you wouldn't think to ask yourself, and gives you the accountability to actually make changes rather than just think about them.

A final thought

Self-leadership is not a luxury reserved for when things calm down. It's the foundation of sustainable, effective, values-led leadership. And it needs tending, consistently and intentionally.

If you're a senior communications professional who has been putting this off — waiting until the restructure is done, the campaign is over, the team feels more settled — I want to gently encourage you to start now. Not with a grand overhaul. With one honest check-in. One small, practical change.

Because the version of you that leads from a grounded, clear, well-resourced place is better for everyone around you. Your team. Your organisation. And yourself.

If this has sparked something for you and you'd like to explore what self-leadership could look like in your own role, I'd love to talk. You can book a discovery call via the website.